Don’t convince people out of confessions! And don’t kiss them out of confessions either. When someone (especially someone important to you) says they have something important to tell you, by all means let them tell you.
Watching “Maid in Manhattan” last weekend I was reminded of that fact. Marissa (J-Lo) is getting ready to confess to Chris that she’s actually just a maid. Instead he locks eyes and swoops in for the kiss. Its clear from her introduction that her heart is heavy, her mind is burdened, and it has taken a lot for her to say what she’s about to, but instead he fairytales it away with a kiss claiming nothing she has to say matters.
One cannot predict what diversions of truth telling sessions may lead to, but even in this seemingly perfect fairytale it led to the loss of Marissa’s job and that of her co-worker, a deeper rift in her relationship with her mother, and months apart for the infatuated couple. It’s an “ever after” movie, so in the end all wrongs were righted and all ribbons wrapped around the pretty package that sells us chick-flick romance, but we all know such is not the case in the reality by which we common folk abide.
Tragedy tends to beget tragedy, and even our *ever afters* are becoming harder and harder to recognize.
Today *ever after* might be a single 22 year old mother who has the courage and confidence to keep her beautiful baby boy when the father chickens out. Today it might be a retired chief of police taking on the job of a chartered bus driver who drops pearls of wisdom as he drives from Indiana to Montreal – with no airs or self-consciousness whatsoever.
“Ever After” is what we make it. The brothers Grimm never warned that a time would come when their blueprint for a fairytale ending would not meet the contemporary construction codes, the time is nigh. It would take less permits to legalize controlled substances than to construct the fairytale castles.
No one expects you to let your hair (or your weave) down, while they climb up it via sky scraper to save you. Likewise, ladies don’t expect a white horse and a fully armored knight to ride to their rescue.
So many things have changed and the shapes no longer fit snugly into the schemas, but one thing remains the same – truth is truth. The famous adage says “and the truth shall set you free.” Indeed it shall – if you allow it to be told!
When someone says they have something important to tell you – they usually do! Yet movie after movie, and real life and real life, you see people fairytale-ing away the facts with kisses and equally passionate declarations of “whatever you has to say doesn’t matter.”
While it may not matter in that exact instance, it will matter later! When the individual who promised “nothing will ever change us” finds out second hand information you attempted to volunteer yourself, usually it changes everything.
So let us all do ourselves a favor and listen! Listen when someone says they have something to tell you. Be persistent when you are the one who knows you have some telling to do. Honesty is the best policy, because the truth is proud, and it will always find its way to center stage, whether you conduct the symphony that it seeps out of, or allow it to materialize of its own accord.
I’ve stopped buying into those fairytale frivolities of the past being the past, and “don’t ask, don’t tell.” If the individual involved deems it important to the current state of things, it is important to the current state of things. Even judges hear cases that the press and others already deem obviously innocent or guilty one way or another, so who are we to hand out pardons before we’ve even received the facts?
If it doesn’t matter at all, then hear the person out, and then your pardon will mean that much more to the both of you. Either way, each party can enter into said endeavor with their eyes open, their hearts registering the reality check, and truth taking the center stage it craves.
So swear to *hear the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth; and save yourselves some drama and time by listening rather than kissing and fairytale’ing away confessions before they are made.