I was nervous when I brought him home!
I had never brought anyone home to meet the parents before! Never mind the friends, family, co-workers, crushes, exes, and strangers all in one go. Yet here I was, exposing my true love to everyone – all at once.
I wondered what people would say when they truly got a look at him! Would they think him brave, stuck up, too opinionated? Would they think he was too young? I feared they might call him uppity, simplistic, jobless, inconsistent and worst of all – untalented!
Yet I was tired. Tired of keeping him locked up in my bedroom. Tired of being the only one who was allowed to interact with him. Tired of exploring the depths of his mind, thoughts, and intentions through the tattered and torn pages of journal entries. I don’t want my covert operation to be under wraps anymore, I’m ready for the expose’.
I don’t know when I fell in love with him. He started as a figment of my imagination, and the reality of him just escalated as my obsession grew. I find traces of him in blue and black and purple ink.
I had used him many times, truth be told. Trusted him countless others. He was the one I told tales that consisted of my real truths and he’d never let me down, yet here I was about to share him with the world with mixed signals regarding his consent.
But it had been decided. I was ready to put the thoughts in my head to bed – piece by piece. So I found him a cover – www.piecesofme89.wordpress.com – and rolled out the red carpet.
It was time to move my love out – from the recesses of my mind into the arena where the critics and commentators might reach him. Open to the eyes and ideas of all. Friend and foe. Yet I was ready. For as my fingers stroked the keyboard, thoughts of him flowed through me, and each and every day from HP Pavillions, to borrowed Mac books, to computer lab keyboards, to black berry notes he was oozing out bit by bit. I could not supress him if I dared, and as my opinions got stronger, so his hold of me tightened.. For he was I, and I am him – inseperable!
He is my thoughts, my feelings, the very expression of myself. “Once Upon A Blogspot” is his alias, but his true name might as be the same query as my name – “what have you brought to the world?”
He brings inconsistencies, the various faces of all my identities, the thoughts I have neither time nor inclination to speak out loud. He is the discussions I barely explore with others, the truths I tell myself and then forget, he is me without punctuation and I regard this his official presentation.
He may speak on issues, on crushes and cares, on fears and fortunes,on future amibtions. He may have subtle suggestions or strong convictions, yet each and everytime I respect his honesty. Bold enough to bring down the barriers of my mind and to keep typing when I long to backspace.
Who deserves to meet the parents? He does! He is my circle of trust, for he knows and interprets each and every truth. AND whether he is right or wrong, he still comes forth, and for that my deepest respect. Whether he is misunderstood or related to, supported or scorned, here’s my fiance y’all. 🙂
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce myself – inside out.