Monkey See. Monkey Do (*_*)



 

She’s battered and bruised, she learned it from you.

That’s what you allowed when she was 2.

They say memory emerges when a child reaches 3,

But he did it so much that it scarred her memory.

 

And when she turned 4, nothing had changed.

You were just a little better at concealing your shame.

But concealer and blush never hid your bruises,

For some stains remain long after the abuses.

 

You swore he would never lay a finger on your daughter

But letting him hit you – sacrificed her – lamb to the slaughter.

 

“Do as I say, not as I do,”

Is not a lesson plan with imbedded value.

 

And so she grew up as the nightmare unfolded.

You never measuring up and you getting scolded.

First by his harsh words, then by his big fists,

Grabbing your throat and twisting your wrists.

 

Your skin discoloured, your face swollen,

And your self value shattered when you accepted his tokens.

Gifts wrapped in lies of this being “the last time.”

He’d blame it on the liquor, his job, the wine.

 

And you knowing full well it would never end,

Deluding yourself as you tried to pretend.

Paralyzed by fear that you could not make it on your own,

You bowed to his beatings, keeping him on the throne.

 

A coward was your king and his wickedness your sin,

For you were his enabler caving to his every whim.

You told yourself you’d made a vow: With This Ring I Thee Wed

Yet your portion was never a part of that Pledge.

 

You did not stay because he was rich, although that he was

You stayed because with sustained abuse is an accompanying drug

Love? Fear? A combination of both?

Standing outside looking in, one cannot denote.

 

But you knew it was wrong

Yet you feared he was strong

Mistaking his violence for a backbone

You let him cast stone after stone.

 

And then she was 5, 6, and 7

And you thought “every girl should have a dad”

So you told yourself you were staying…

To give her what you had never had.

 

But raised voices were her lullabies

And your shimmering black eyes her night lights

And as she grew she aged

Wedged between his violence and your fright.

 

Then she was a teenager and you rationalized

If you didn’t stay he wouldn’t pay for college

And after all –

“You can’t put a price on knowledge.”

 

So you said you’d “tough it out” a few more years

Truth is you didn’t know how to move past your fears

It is what you had known for 20 odd years

And your eyes couldn’t see without the tears

 

Just like you wanted she moved out and went to college

Your gorgeous gorgeous girl.

And you patted yourself on the back

Thinking your suffering had gained her the world

 

But monkey see. Monkey do.

And that’s just what she did.

She found a man like her daddy

And in his arms she hid.

 

She told him she loved him

Unfortunately he “loved” her more

And every time she showed her lesser love

She was sorry, of that he made sure.

 

Soon everything she said was wrong

Especially when she was right

She moved in cuz she felt right at home

In the presence of her fright.

 

This was love she recognized

Turbulent and full of blows

And monkey will not suspect,

What monkey already knows.

 

But she was not “strong” like you,

And soon she’d had enough,

She never spoke of it though,

Because that’s just how she grew up.

 

You were so used to hidden emotions,

You couldn’t see the ones right before your eyes,

And so you encouraged her “wonderful catch”

And didn’t not notice her soul withering as it died.

 

He continuously killed her with his words

And one day she just gave up.

And she slit her own wrists

For where she came from: violence was an acceptable construct

 

An invisible prison with metal bars

You taught her that it was okay

You taught her she should conceal her pain

You taught her she should stay

 

Her eyes were swollen like yours

Yet her heart had 20/20 vision

And with her sight she saw

That she could not hope to exist in this prison

 

In her old house there were no “exit” signs

And this one was much the same

So she retreated inside her head

And thought of what she had to gain –

Nothing!

Existence was nothing but pain,

Love was the most violent of emotions,

And she decided not to remain.

 

She cut the cords of bondage,

Split them from vein to vein,

And wrists wide open,

She breathlessly called your name.

 

Your gorgeous gorgeous girl

Peaceful and pale

Concealer on her face

Blush bleeding onto her veil

Strategically placed to hide the bruises

The make-up could not mask

Soon to be lowered into the ground

In a coffin of damask .

You did it all for her,

But u forgot – monkey see monkey do.

And now her lifeless body,

Was doing back onto you.

 

For violence robs the receiver

And those the receiver loves

And no lies will diminish the echo

Of what staying really does.

 

x

 

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Published by

Miss Zeni St. John

Professional & Motivational Writer who writes to inform, educate, and inspire. Professional writing services can be accessed by contacting The Writing Bureau through zeni.stjohn@gmail.com. - Write Words, Right Time, Write Impact.

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