The Sky is Falling

The sky is falling
But it’s upside down
And it’s raining and it’s pouring
And it’s softening the ground

So ashes can be spread
And we can bury our dead
And we can wake to sleepless nights
Cold sweats in our bed

Memories seasoned with regret
Inside already tormented heads
Heaven is below
It is where they go
And hell is in a realm
Between the ceiling and the floor

The sky is falling
And hell resides above
So the fire and the brimstone
Fall down to earth on us

 

The debris flutters down like snow
Making eyes water and hearts ache
Its toxic and its weightless
Yet heavy enough to make hearts break

Planes drop mindlessly out of the sky
Wasting 100s of our lives
Leaving behind orphans and widows
Death comes to part husbands and wives

Bombs detonate in churches near mosques
Making a mockery of our religions
Of our safety precautions, of us
Leaving in its wake another fresh & rotting corpse

The roads are soaked with blood
From this car crash and that fight
The streetlights don’t work
Either way, there’s no light

And distrust is so heavily woven into the tapestry
That we know things are never quite as simple as they seem
How does one even have clarity of vision when darkness sets the precedent?
For the environment, for the living conditions, even for the government

Is it the potholes?
Is it the cutting corners?
Is it corruption?
Is it lack of expertise?
Or is it just our quota for the deceased?

Whatever it is
Left behind
It’s getting harder and harder to breathe.
And even harder to sleep
The loss of the lost
Brings us all to our knees.

Father, Father, Father help us.
Turn our nation right side up,
So many things seem so senseless,
So can You please make it stop?

If the sky was the right side up
Blessings would be showering down
I cannot help but think we’ve destroyed the atmosphere
And turned things the wrong way around

When there is so much depravity, top down
How does one avoid gravity? It must come down.

The sky is falling
And it doesn’t matter if you cry
The residue from hell’s sewers
Will rise up to infect our lives

We are all sick
Inhaling these impurities
Cruelty has tipped the scales
No one has immunity

We exhale broken hopes
We breathe in dashed dreams
The future is a mirage
That is swept up in the evening breeze

The sky is falling down
It’s falling down on us
Are you willing to hold it up?
If so, at what opportunity cost?

Father, Father, Father help us.
Turn our nation right side up,
So many things seem so senseless,
So can you please make it stop?

Photo Credit: http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/jackalope/2010/08/where_to_catch_tonights_persei.php

Happy New Year! *2012*

It’s a new year after all (in the  *it’s a small world after all* high pitched voice), and even the cool nonchalant coffee drinkers with the designer glasses and dirty jeans who appreciate avant-garde art and shrug at all the things excitable beings “ooh and aah “at have to appreciate the soundness of this! 2012!!!! It’s 2012!!!! The years have flown, and within 2011 the days have flown. It’s shocking and amazing that we are actually on the threshold of a new year. New year’s resolutions are the single most annually bastardized exercise, but with a little (nay, A LOT) of follow through they still have their merit.

Something about the dawn of a new year gives one the courage and confidence to reevaluate – reevaluate where one has been, where one is stuck in a rut, where one is or should be headed. It allows for the freedom of an honest assessment, one which could take place on any other day of the year mind you – but just feels easier and more appropriate as the months, weeks, days and hours wind down and we prepare to start afresh. There is so much knowledge in the world – a lesson which was ironically cemented after university – and as we embark on a journey into a new year let us assess from whence we can gather it and harness it and leverage it and live it…

From the mouth of babes –yes, the goo goos and ga gas (not the Lady) teach us a thing or three about appreciating the small things (literally, these small humans with whom we share our space). I don’t have any who answer my last name, but just across the hallway live 4 precious pumpkins who with just a smile, a hug or a hello invariably turn my frown upside down and give me the strength to toss off my stilettos after a long day at work and go play for a while. It is important to play for a while. Play with your little ones and play with your same sized ones, and play with your bigger ones; but thou shall play! Never ever lose sight of the smiles and the laughs and the guffaws that are intricately laced into a hard or harrowing day. A famous adage warns us not to take life too seriously because we won’t make it out alive anyway, and the pain in my heart over loved ones lost knows this is unfortunately true.

The parents. Yes, the parents. Whether real, adopted, guardians or aunties and uncles twice removed, these older family members and acquaintances can still add value. Even if you can read in 3 languages now, have 4 degrees from 5 different institutions (clearly none in mathematics) they can and will always add value. There are life lessons that simply cannot skip a generation, as the passage of time is the only professor of these truths. So just as you embraced (or “sparknoted” and “googled”) your way through an education from higher institutions of learning, never forget that higher/older learned individuals – (whether literate or illiterate is inconsequential) are at your fingertips and have tips to offer. Your old grandmother who just won’t stop talking (no disrespect) is at your disposal, and whether they are big pearls or little pearls of wisdom, there are lessons to be learned – so gather up the jewels, string yourself a necklace or a Nialaya bracelet and use it to partially illuminate your path. Because these unexpected words of wisdom do glow in the dark, and when NEPA or life takes the light you will begin to see their intrinsic value.

Horrible Bosses! Some say it was one of the most hilarious movie sof the year and I’m inclined to agree. To me it was one hell of a movie – painfully funny and thankfully far far far away from my professional reality. I have an amazing job, an insightful boss and amazing work colleagues and for that I am beyond thankful and blessed. There is no day I go to work that I do not laugh and that I do not learn something. Both are equally enjoyable. The lesson isn’t that you can always learn something at work though, I am hardly that naïve. The lesson is that you can love your job. Probably not your current job, but another job. I am not insinuating that you march into work today (hopefully your office is closed as it’s a Sunday and the 1^st day of the year) and slap your quit notice on your boss’s forehead, but I’m just an advocate of loving what you spend most of your week doing. Life is short so why not take the initiative and take a chance? Why not attempt to do something that would actually make you happy for a change? I intend on changing my job too, I love the people and I love the place but ultimately it’s a magnificent laboratory and classroom, and one day I shall hang up my lab coat, put down my notebook, power off my MacBook and pour my passions and aspirations into dreams and desires that cannot be ignored – and I’m proposing that one day (you determine when “then” becomes “now”) you do same! Why? Cuz God has placed desires in our hearts and talents in our treasure chest and by fulfilling our purpose and pursuing our passions we will be happy and ultimately successful (definition subjective).

So the knowledge of the world can be harnessed from individuals; friends, foe, family members and foreigners. And the challenge is not in identifying these assets but actually using them. One of my favourite hobbies is ordinary conversations with extraordinary individuals, because the exchange of those words creates things in otherly dimensions that can then be dragged down to earth and used as the vehicle to transport one’s passions into reality.

So what should we do with all this jargon?

•  Well, I propose that we love life and make the absolute most of it!
•  I propose that we identify this extraordinary existing in the mundane!
•  I propose that we appreciate the different classes and ages of individuals that occupy our space and maximize what they have to offer.
• I propose that we identify what truly makes us happy, what activities and talents collaborate towards the fulfillment of our purpose – I propose we leverage these things and utilize them to an ideal end.
• I propose we appreciate being alive in this new year and embrace the amazingness that it surely has to offer.

And lastly but most importantly…

• I propose that we love each other unconditionally of course! How dare we not?

Many citizens in many-a-country over many-a-century have tried the opposite and that hasn’t gotten us very far. So in 2012 why don’t we attempt to value the exchanges we have with others and use them to make changes. Appreciate the itty-bitty things and adore the bigger ones. Why don’t we be thankful for the life we have been given and strive to make it the one we desire more deeply, rather than complaining and cringing away from challenges that stand between “then” and right now? If you are already doing this you know how rewarding it is, if you aren’t – what are you waiting for? It’s a new year, one in which some movies propose the world is coming to an end, so toss out the Mayan calendar and the surly attitude and live life, love others, maximize moments and realize just how truly blessed we are to be ushering in a new year!

God bless you and yours, and may He leverage your best efforts into things bigger and better than your wildest wishes could ever conceive! ❤

Trust(ee) in Training

Women are trained to trust! As a gender, women most often get tarred and feathered as being emotional, naïve, and the silly ones in the relationship. There are a higher percentage of women who submit themselves to a life of doormat-ship and allow themselves to be washed, walked on, and eventually dusted off when they become too worn to be wanted anymore.

My theory is women are trained up to trust.

There are so many facets to the modern day woman that must be outsourced that women are simply trained to trust straight up strangers. Follow my train of thought here…

We trust our hairdressers, our nail technicians, our tailors, our friends (to tell us if we can pull off whatever dress/design without looking fat), our market vendors from whom we buy vegetables and meat, our fellow women (think bathroom breaks during sweaty clubbing sessions – “Do I look shiny?” “Is my make-up okay?” “Do you think its okay if I take my shoes off” *quite frankly NO* but I digress..). We trust our beauty supply store clerks to tell us if we can rinse the hair dye directly in or need to base it first. We trust the mirror, the Mac make-up technicians, the midwives, the E! stylists, the calorie counting magazine motivators, our mothers (to teach us how to cook sweet soup and serve it up the right way) and the list goes on.

We trust a plethora of people, most of whom we’ve only met moments before. Therefore is it not logical that we are easily inclined to trust someone that supposedly gives us a reason to? Someone who woos us and washes us with words we want to hear? Indeed! The fairytale framework is already set in place in our minds, so once the character hypothetically rides in on that proverbial white horse, we easily transfer the most important level of trust unto him. This my darlings is where the danger lurks. For this kind of trust can shatter the heart of she who bestows it without a second thought upon said object of interest.

So after being trained up to trust we must teach ourselves to master trust and invite some mistrust into our midst. After all the Miss with the most trust is usually left at a loss for most times blind trust does not pay off.

So hold back emotions, analyze situations critically, let it be earned rather than freely given. If he is sewing on your clothes feel free to let your feelings show, but if his sole goal is to strip them away you better make him wait. Build that relationship, for only transactions should be conducted with quickness, and even those could benefit from some skepticism.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Photo Source: http://www.wildaboutmovies.com/movies/TheWomen2008Movie-TheWomen2008Trailer-DianeEnglish.php http://hippyofdoom.deviantart.com/art/Lipstick-Kiss-Shoes-77926728

*Plans.

Plans. Why do we make them? Reality is indifferent to them anyway. What is the probability that a plan will work out as planned? Well I’m no statistician, but the probability is miniscule.

One need not even look at big life plans to see the inconsistencies that exist amidst planning. Simple everyday plans: some masked as goals, others plotted out on a to-do-list, and yet others that occupy a spot on our timeline sometime in the future as a “sure occurrence” – but most times plans are futile. Planning alone comes with a low guarantee of success, never mind adding the variables that are other people and inconsistent events into the mix.

Why do we fret when they don’t work out? How many of our plans have failed us in the past? Many. Yet somehow we all manage to move past the failed plans and embrace the bigger, better, different, distinct occurrences that propel us past our blueprints and position us in the reality that we find ourselves. Mindlessly stepping over the rubble that was our plans and perfecting our actual present.

I am guilty of so many counts of planning that if a pie chart was set up showing the proportion of my life spent planning to my life spent living, I would be labelled a “planaholic.” If your symptoms include lengthy lists, consuming concern about who and where you will be tomorrow, haphazardly plotting various routes to that nebulous destination known as “success,” semi-permanent worry lines, multiple assurances where friends promise you really are worrying over nothing – YOU just may be guilty of being a “planaholic” too.

Please position your tired ass in the hot seat next to mine. Don’t bristle @ the “tired ass” reference, we both know its a tiresome sport in which we participate, so take a load off. Let’s think of this as musical chairs: The music has stopped, and of course you’ve won yourself a seat! Why? Because you were too busy focusing on how you have to “win, win, win no matter what” that you didn’t even realize they were playing your favourite song. The second the music stopped you shoved all warm blooded obstacles out the way and took your place next to me who was so busy planning I forgot to dance. Now, what have we gained? Perhaps we are well on our way to winning the game, yet we are the ones who have been played. My more free-spirited friend is up dancing and flirting with a gorgeous man I had planned to approach when we found ourselves in the same room (I didn’t notice he was even there), my cousin’s composing a freestyle that just might get him signed, and my third acquaintance is enjoying the hors d’oeuvres and music. All I’m doing is sitting here on this hard metal seat planning how to make it through the next round. When we go home tonight they’ll all have memories, memories of the life they lived, and I’ll just have plans – plans that I’m at a loss on how to implement, plans that may or may not come to pass.

Of course some planning is good, necessary and strategic. Yet there is a thin line between being prepared to the degree we can by plotting out a path for ourselves, and planning that feels like post traumatic stress because between plans, implementation and potential failure one forgets to breathe and starts taking leave of one’s sensibility and spontaneity.

So please – prepare, but also take care to live, love, and yes to complete the cliché – laugh. These things don’t show up on the blueprint or reveal themselves in the checklists. They cannot be scheduled or pencilled in. Life happens every single moment, and if we spend ours planning for this, that, and the other – there is a tendency to tone out the music and tunnel our vision on the metal chair. I’m learning this one failed, frustrating, and even successful (not quite what it was cracked up to be) plan at a time.

So my aim is to plan less, pray more, fill my blind spots with faith, and free my mind to live and learn to embrace the memories of right now.

 

x

 

Photo Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rohdesign/1696964330/

Dear John Break- Up Letter: To the One Who Could Have Made Me Better <3

Dear John,

The truth is its really not you, its me. Well it’s not really me – it’s more like us. Have I literally cheated? No. But I do a little every day in every little way. I lied to you when I gave you the impression that it was just the two of us in this relationships – it’s not!

I must confess that my girlfriends are in this relationship too! I love you. I love you until we have a girls’ night out and they attempt to pawn me off to the businessman celebrating happy hour in an Armani suit and Gucci loafers. I love you, until they begin to water the seeds of doubt about how I should be with someone whose taller, shorter, better looking, less attractive, with a more similar background, with more prospects, whose less in the spotlight, more ambitious, someone with straighter teeth, a smaller nose, a stronger chin, not so sweet, someone less rough around the edges – let me catch my breath. (Inhale. Exhale). Someone whose more self-motivated, someone whose moving up the corporate ladder, an entrepreneur, a… The list goes on. Every different day it’s one thing or another. And you my love never seem to measure up. I do not know what the ever shifting yardstick is though, because you come out a head above their present or absent men, yet they are convinced that convincing me out of love with you is the best option. So – it’s not you, it’s us (me + my gfs).

And dear John, the truth is it’s not just you and I, and my girlfriends; but there is society as well. The way they gawk at us when we are out and about. The disapproving looks we get from various faced races as our skin tones are laid bare and exposed for comparison as we hold hands down the paved streets. Its history that haunts us saying once this was not allowed, and now it is barely permissible. It’s the present as it exists full of people who are contradictions onto themselves. It’s society that screams to me that something isn’t right. Our compatibility isn’t evident, and so they say we must separate.

And dear John, the truth is my dearest it’s not you, but the media. The media that tells me someone who’s a 10 should not be with a mere 6.5. And so I attempt to do the math. Adding and averaging but there simply aren’t enough numbers, and so the probability of our success is skewed on a left-tail test. Some days you take the top score, and other times the scale tips my way. It depends on our Fall wardrobes and our fitness regiment, our regular spa treatments and the size of our 401Ks. It’s the trending topic on Twitter that tells me the next “it couple” has already split. And then my sense of security shatters for they are prettier, richer, and afforded more opportunities, how dare I believe I deserve to keep my man when she can’t keep hers, after all I can barely afford to walk a mile in her Manolos.*

And then it’s my parents, and the rest of my family. Their mixed messages of wait, pause, stop, reboot, play. Everyone wants of me something different. The clarity to make conscious decisions. The freedom to further my career. The maneuverability to make the best of my youth. They think someone younger would be better for me. Someone more mature. Someone with a broader background. Someone less secure. Someone who doesn’t need to tan to attain our complexion. Someone who has already vacationed where we are. Someone with a less controversial family. Someone pre-approved by them. Someone they can take credit for.

So my darling sweet John, it’s not you – it’s us. The girlfriends, the society, the media, la familia, and my own self doubt that lets them occupy a space in my head rent free. That’s really what it is. My self doubt. I doubt what good you can see in myself when I can stoop so low to have thoughts such as these. And after they’ve ripped you apart with their words and punctuations, I pause hand poised above the paper, wondering what to write to you. Wondering what credible reason I can give that is multi-explanatory. Something that will let both of us live with these decisions in a sensible fashion. I wonder where you will wander to next. Beneath my girlfriends’ criticism and constant critique I see signs of attraction, and I hope and pray that you will never succumb to their passion. For then I shall lose not only you my love, but those I sacrificed you for because I was too weak to want what I want and not allow anyone to water down my once concentrated commitment to it. To you.

Society speaks and I am pressured to listen.

Because I believe in Chanel quilted bags and Gucci glasses,
Louboutin pumps and yoga classes,
Smoothies for breakfast, crackers for brunch,
And Evian and cocktail olives for dinner and lunch.

And there’s nothing wrong with these being a few of my favourite things, but somewhere in between, I started to buy into what they really mean. An expensive uniform that inducts one into conformity, and somewhere along the line I lost my uniqueness. My strong mind whittled away by the who’s who and what’s acceptable in the upper tiers. And here I am up here, face awash with tears. For I must give you up, because you don’t quite make the cut. New money, smells funny – they don’t respect ambition. They search for that distinction that comes from a hierarchy, a family tree that you do not have my love, and now that I’ve fallen I must get up. Now that I have you, I must give you up.

Dear John. It’s not you, but all that you are on paper and in print, and all that I’m not in spirit and in strength. My French and Italian paintings will be the only ones to see me cry, as I walk barefoot and downtrodden along the marble floors onto plush Persian rugs in my Penthouse apartment. And every little thing will remind me of what we were, and what we both are not. You are not qualified, and I’m in the deepest sense shallow. After you read this letter I’ll be all alone. For when you read the truths between the lines you’ll realize what I’ve become, and you won’t love me anymore, but I’ll love you always. They’ll say I finally grew up and let the loser go, but I know I’m the one who’s losing out on you. And this regret will make me bitter, and while I’ll call myself a “go getter,” I’ll just be a digger. Digging for someone better by mine and media and society and sorority and family standards. But his better will be worse, for like me he’ll be put together. And the paparazzi will love it, and so will the public, but at home we’ll both loathe it for our expensive mirrors have reflections – and those we’ll abhor. We look stunning together, yet in spirit we are both dirt poor. And I’ll regret this decision, but as far as my brand goes – it’ll be adored.

And so my dearest, we must break up. And the truth is, it’s really not you – it is in fact me. I’m sorry!

Love, Barbie.

Picture Source: http://www.stain-removal-101.com/how-to-remove-lipstick-stains-from-clothes.html

Monkey See. Monkey Do (*_*)



 

She’s battered and bruised, she learned it from you.

That’s what you allowed when she was 2.

They say memory emerges when a child reaches 3,

But he did it so much that it scarred her memory.

 

And when she turned 4, nothing had changed.

You were just a little better at concealing your shame.

But concealer and blush never hid your bruises,

For some stains remain long after the abuses.

 

You swore he would never lay a finger on your daughter

But letting him hit you – sacrificed her – lamb to the slaughter.

 

“Do as I say, not as I do,”

Is not a lesson plan with imbedded value.

 

And so she grew up as the nightmare unfolded.

You never measuring up and you getting scolded.

First by his harsh words, then by his big fists,

Grabbing your throat and twisting your wrists.

 

Your skin discoloured, your face swollen,

And your self value shattered when you accepted his tokens.

Gifts wrapped in lies of this being “the last time.”

He’d blame it on the liquor, his job, the wine.

 

And you knowing full well it would never end,

Deluding yourself as you tried to pretend.

Paralyzed by fear that you could not make it on your own,

You bowed to his beatings, keeping him on the throne.

 

A coward was your king and his wickedness your sin,

For you were his enabler caving to his every whim.

You told yourself you’d made a vow: With This Ring I Thee Wed

Yet your portion was never a part of that Pledge.

 

You did not stay because he was rich, although that he was

You stayed because with sustained abuse is an accompanying drug

Love? Fear? A combination of both?

Standing outside looking in, one cannot denote.

 

But you knew it was wrong

Yet you feared he was strong

Mistaking his violence for a backbone

You let him cast stone after stone.

 

And then she was 5, 6, and 7

And you thought “every girl should have a dad”

So you told yourself you were staying…

To give her what you had never had.

 

But raised voices were her lullabies

And your shimmering black eyes her night lights

And as she grew she aged

Wedged between his violence and your fright.

 

Then she was a teenager and you rationalized

If you didn’t stay he wouldn’t pay for college

And after all –

“You can’t put a price on knowledge.”

 

So you said you’d “tough it out” a few more years

Truth is you didn’t know how to move past your fears

It is what you had known for 20 odd years

And your eyes couldn’t see without the tears

 

Just like you wanted she moved out and went to college

Your gorgeous gorgeous girl.

And you patted yourself on the back

Thinking your suffering had gained her the world

 

But monkey see. Monkey do.

And that’s just what she did.

She found a man like her daddy

And in his arms she hid.

 

She told him she loved him

Unfortunately he “loved” her more

And every time she showed her lesser love

She was sorry, of that he made sure.

 

Soon everything she said was wrong

Especially when she was right

She moved in cuz she felt right at home

In the presence of her fright.

 

This was love she recognized

Turbulent and full of blows

And monkey will not suspect,

What monkey already knows.

 

But she was not “strong” like you,

And soon she’d had enough,

She never spoke of it though,

Because that’s just how she grew up.

 

You were so used to hidden emotions,

You couldn’t see the ones right before your eyes,

And so you encouraged her “wonderful catch”

And didn’t not notice her soul withering as it died.

 

He continuously killed her with his words

And one day she just gave up.

And she slit her own wrists

For where she came from: violence was an acceptable construct

 

An invisible prison with metal bars

You taught her that it was okay

You taught her she should conceal her pain

You taught her she should stay

 

Her eyes were swollen like yours

Yet her heart had 20/20 vision

And with her sight she saw

That she could not hope to exist in this prison

 

In her old house there were no “exit” signs

And this one was much the same

So she retreated inside her head

And thought of what she had to gain –

Nothing!

Existence was nothing but pain,

Love was the most violent of emotions,

And she decided not to remain.

 

She cut the cords of bondage,

Split them from vein to vein,

And wrists wide open,

She breathlessly called your name.

 

Your gorgeous gorgeous girl

Peaceful and pale

Concealer on her face

Blush bleeding onto her veil

Strategically placed to hide the bruises

The make-up could not mask

Soon to be lowered into the ground

In a coffin of damask .

You did it all for her,

But u forgot – monkey see monkey do.

And now her lifeless body,

Was doing back onto you.

 

For violence robs the receiver

And those the receiver loves

And no lies will diminish the echo

Of what staying really does.

 

x

 

This IS Not An Ugly Girl Rant

Let me re-iterate: This Is Not An Ugly Girl Rant. This is not one of those “those who cannot do, teach” scenarios either. I simply comment because I feel it is a comment worthy topic. Today on Twitter I was asked if I sing or dance. Similar questions have been asked before. Do I? No. Should you? Probably not. Why? Because these things are not realistic. 

There are two levels of quasi celebrities in existence, both would be better off extinct.

There are those who think by simply existing they are stars and should be treated as such, and there are those who make limp attempts at being yet never quite make it anywhere. Both the former and the latter’s progress is stunted and they never reach their peak as a result. For in order to reach one’s peak, one must first identify and then strive for it; this leaves a lot less time for silly things. Therefore, these two levels of quasi celebrities would be better off extinct. Not so much the individuals, but absolutely their mindsets and motivations.

These quasi celebrities in question are everyday individuals that spend more time on their weaves, funny coloured contacts and nails, enhanced by gallons of make-up and ankle-breaking heels than they do not receiving an education. If you want your fifteen minutes of fame and want to be front-and-center when it comes to the entertainment industry, please realize it takes more than a few bucks worth of fake to achieve that status, and even then it’s a little less than feasible.

We were taught many things in highschool such as Advanced Math and Algebra 2. We were also taught that Chemistry is not for everybody, the fame of scoring goals hardly lasts past the season, girls should wear shapeless clothing always at all times, and the diploma you received does not matter – at all, go and get another one!

And so here we are – a few years down the line – University.

And here, there, and everywhere else individuals venture forth acting like the University Center is a hall of fame in which they are to be recognized and respected. Where they should be worshipped and wanted. It’s not! We don’t come here everyday to see you. No. Not at all. Go to class! Quasi celebrities need keep in mind that there will always be somebody prettier, with a better voice, a smaller waist, a better boob job, and more followers backing her. A man with bigger biceps, a better background, etc. The list goes on.

I’m not saying you are all not gorgeous in your own right or you will not be successful, I just warn that looks are hardly ever enough. Do not bank on what you did not create and can hardly positively enhance. I know and respect individuals in the entertainment industry, some more than others, this memo is not for them.

This memo is for the girls who lurk on the corners of classrooms strutting their stuff, some wearing too much, some barely enough; all with ambitions and dreams bigger and smaller than what they should hope to achieve. Do not drop out of school to become a super model. The girl who sits in front of you is probably thinner. Do not spend your days playing basketball on the streets, dunking into garbage cans, the NBA does not recruit there.

An education is the surest way to ensure success. Even if you do not do anything with your direct degree, you make connections, you sharpen your mind, you keep your repuation safely tucked away in the concrete creation that is higher learning if nothing more. Do not sell yourself short by attempting to sell your physical self. The price of the highest bidder will be too low, and most times your self esteem and self worth will be the first to go.

A pretty face is not a prize, its a cherry on the cake, and we can all do without the cherry. What matters is the content, not the case in which it comes. Models grow fat or die of anorexia, sportsmen get injured or cheat on their wives with 18 other holes – or both, actresses are traded in for younger versions, and everyone is recycled and attacked and stalked and over – and under – appreciated and all of these things probably will be you – if you ever become quite so important in the industry as to experience these “triumphs.”

There are billions of individuals who reside on this planet, too many believing stardom is the easy way out. I’m all for talented individuals joining the rat race and blowing up, I know those who have done so, and those who are attempting to, and I respect that effort in all stages of existence. Keyword: talented.

The defiiniton of a quasi celebrity would be one who is not famous in their own right. Isn’t really much of anything to be honest. More like a local champion. An average sized fish in a small pond such as a university or college whose presence is magnified by the trumpet they blow and by the fact that their “competitors” are too busy competing for valedictorian status and a graudation with honors to pay them any mind.

You are paying, or loaning, or scholarship’ing (probably not if you’re a quasi celebrity) this education, so the least you can do is receive it. Take notes instead of checking your hair every 5 minutes, study instead of sash-aying through the hallways, learn instead of lurking around the basketball court hoping to get scouted and signed.

We also learned in highschool that little miss popular is bottom of the food chain in the big bad world, and therefore I ask that we not rely on the word of our highschool music teacher who said we could sing, our ex boyfriend who said we could dance, or our friends who said we’d look good on tv. Let’s rely on our intellect, our intelligence, our potential that can definitely be honed and enhanced as we further our education.

A higher education is not for everyone, but a degree must be to a degree for you if you are already heel’ing through the halls, so its time to put the brush down and pick up a pen: take some notes, learn something, and chances are your parents and your bank account will thank you for it!

This is not an ugly girl rant. This is the rant of a girl who realizes that :

• Beauty is fleeting, its definition every changing,
• There are inherent trade-offs to being “famous,”
• In order to be wanted you must give much more of yourself than E! shows,
• Most of us will never make it to that status and futile attempts are a waste of time and reputation
• You as an individual and the world as a whole will benefit from the realization that serious minded professions can and should be pursued and respected, are more stable, benefit society, and save everybody the time, gag-effect, and eye rolling that occurs when talentless people exude naseauting confidence in areas that do not concern them.

This is the rant of one who realizes that being the half-naked girl on the fraternity’s party flyer does not make you a model, and the heights you will acheive at the rate you are going will be more pornographic than prominent and no one wants that. We did not arrive at our respective institutions to live out loud and gain the love of the crowd, we the fish are at school to learn to swim. So test the waters of various organizations and the depths of your passions, but focus on the primary goal and elevate your mind and its potential above that of your body and your beauty.

This is not an ugly girl rant. Its just the perspective of one girl, all looks aside.

x

The *Giant @ 50!

There once lived a man who never really lived until he was set free. Before he was set free his life was not his own. He was enslaved, beaten, broken, and subdued physically and mentally, but one day.. One day.. His oppressors left and he was set free.

Like an infant taking his first steps he tested out a path all his own. The year was 1960, the date was October 1, and it was his independence.

This man comprised of many life forces. Many individuals and opinions that made him who he was. For he was not a man in the literal sense, but more of a nation fortified by like-minds and hopeful hearts. As the years passed he forged his path, yet his potential was so big that it blinded his perspective. Resources so abundant that he abused their returns. His heart was willing, but his flesh was weak, and as thus he subdued himself to the songs of sirens singing of money that sought to steal his soul. And so he sold it, over and over again he sold it.

Sold it so some could celebrate while most were left to suffer. He stopped listening to his collective conscience and began to succumb to his own greed. He forced out the voices of those who couldn’t afford a seat @ the table, and thus the gap widened and the nation as a whole was enslaved again – this time the victim and the victor were one and the same.

The victor had the keys of life – yet he held them tight as he hoarded the hope of the masses – cashing them in, until he possessed all he could plunder, and then he would pass keys on to the next head – all of whom gradually became guilty of the same crime. And so 50 years later all he has left to show is what he had 50 years ago whence he took his 1st faltering steps.

Talents buried in the sand, gathering dust and remaining underappreciated by those who could leverage these abilities for the gain of all.

But sleep can only last for the night, and one day even the slumbering giant must awaken. The dream has become a nightmare, and in this reality the strength of the collective is rising up against that of the head. A consensus is being reached that says – the man must compete, the man must contribute, and the man must confess.

Confess that this existence is not sustainable. Confess that he is no longer man alone, for his life forces are scattered across the continents. Dotted on every continent, and they weave together a web so strong that the man must heed their message. He is and will remain constrained, and shall not be set free until he owns up for his actions, takes charge of his resources, and commands the respect of the collective by heeding the voice of his own conscience that has become hardened and desensitized to the cries of the collective.

Once upon a time hopeful hearts beat from within, and to this day they still do. Sometimes it is ever so faint, but if you concentrate you can hear the hope and if you close your eyes you can see the future. Those hopeful hearts – waiting, willing, and wondering when the time will come when they will power up this life force again with the synchroinzed beating that in collaboration  will bring light, strength, and ultimately success in a land free from the constraints of corruption.

Wetin man pikin go do? Dig up our talents and add our voices to that of the collective of course! Our objectives are the same, our pride is palpable, our success is eminent. It’s all up to us. And as always – God dey!

Happy birthday! Here’s to tomorrow.

❤

Dear Baby Yet Unborn (Volume I)

Dear darling daughter,

What can I warn you about this world you will one day enter? Of this I do not know. It is ever changing and realities are always shifting, yet I will try. I know not what the conditions surrounding your birth will be, yet some constants shall remain ever true:

I can tell you that degrees matter more and less. To be well educated is invaluable, yet real money is less frequently attained through a predictable trajectory, but more so through trial and error, and most often a brilliant idea + a little bit of luck.

I can tell you that people are always changing. Buying new body parts and sometimes snipping off old ones as the definition of “beauty” changes. But this my love, is not what true beauty is.

Beautiful is you! Unborn and untouched, yet known before ever being knit in my womb. I know nothing about you, other than you will be part me. And this – is more than enough. You have no father yet to speak of, and while conception is years away – love is already here to stay.

Beauty is confidence in your talents and acknowlegment of your flaws. One who strives and is not afraid to fall. Beauty is the potential and possibility that is you.

I learned to love by how I was loved, and that love demanded only one thing from me: that I be the absolute best version of myself. That I strive and seek to succeed, never settling or letting fear paralyze my progress towards the path ahead. That I accept a helping hand from the source from which love sprung forth whenever I fell, and allowed myself a dust-off and to be enveloped in warm arms, while I prepared to head back out.

And so my love, my love for you will be thus: Be who YOU want to be. Doctor, carpenter, career services counselor, painter, or poet. Live life on your own terms – determining what income level satisfies you, what continent you will reside on, whether you will travel by yatch or donkey – and whichever, I shall love you both ceaselessly and carelessly.

Strength comes from within, and with the still silent voice within as your guide, and an ample support system outside you shall attain, gain, and maintain *strength.

 
I was never told what I should be. Never advised against pursuing my dreams. Never given a mold of which I had to stretch or fold to fit into. I was simply loved. And I pay that love forward to the next rightful owner in generation next.

As it flows through my veins, it will one day pass through the umbilical cord to the literal center of your little being, and then you will know what I know. That you are loved! Just as I have and continue to be sustained by the love that my mother radiates towards me. Love that is so deeply embedded and so strongly felt that I understand perfectly what was designed in the heavens with regards to pure undiluted and untainted parent-to-child love, and the even greater prototype of how He first loved us. Love deep enough that I am convicted enough to make my musings known to you years in advance.

The task the lays ahead concerning you is daunting, so I prepare now. Studying and working and discerning and hoping and above all – praying, so that years from now your arrival shall be to one where fear of tomorrow shall never wrinkle your delicate little forehead.

Yet here I am getting ahead of myself. I speak as one who is already on the brink of where I’m merely looking out to. But to be forearmed is to be better prepared, so I take my advice and hold on to it, invest it to see if it will bring forth returns. And these assets I shall use to further myself, and this wisdom I shall plant in my heart so that the tree of truth shall grow, and when you too begin to grow years from now – you shall reside in the shade of assurance that in this ever changing universe – heaven, hope, and my heart beat attuned to yours – are ever constant.

My darling daughter – What can I warn you about this world you will one day enter? Of this I do not know. It is ever changing and realities are shifting, yet I will try. I know not what the conditions of 2017 will be, yet some constants shall remain ever true: I will always always love you, and as thus it is critical to prepare now, to be a woman you will be proud of, to live a life whose mistakes you can learn from, to become a mother that you will choose to love back – for who I was, who I am, and who I am yet to become. To be one so full of life that it oozes out of my very pores and pours back into yours (as biologically impossible as that may sound), to be one with the One who first entrusted you to me so that the plans for your life and my role in them may become evident.

I do not know what the future shall hold in exact quantities, but the ingredients for an enriching existence I now seek:

Enough strength of character to be strong when you are not

Enough discernment to discipline you when all I feel is biased love

Enough restraint to save now and build towards a better life for you

Enough worry to keep you safe and say “no” when you should not

Enough love to make the world feel like home

Yet enough truth serum to teach you that it is not

Enough resilience to find the right father

Enough prayers to bind it all together

AND enough love to assure you that you are more than enough.

Ever Yours,

Mommy?